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Why Some Antiques Are Scary

When I heard that actor Billy Bob Thornton is scared of antiques, I had to laugh. Some antiques are totally nasty and freak me out. I’m not worried that there are spirits attached to objects. I’m worried about the cleanliness factor of having old furniture in the house.

Upholstered furniture is the worst. Have you ever sat on an old sofa or chair and felt strange lumps under the fabric? The stuffing is all messed up in there. Once I see an old upholstered piece of furniture, I wonder how old the stuffing and fabric is and I imagine that it smells. In my mind, it smells like dust and old people and antique farts.

If I can’t clean it, wipe it down or put it in the dishwasher, it’s not going in my house!

I also have a problem with dolls. When I see people at auctions in bidding wars for nasty old dolls (dolls with missing hair and weird eyes and tattered clothing) I’m disgusted on the inside. I don’t care what those dolls are worth. It’s not worth it to me because I’d have to touch one to own it. EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!

Below is a link to a good scary doll story. Check it out! www.scaryforkids.com/antique-doll

www.midcenturyjewelry.com.

5 thoughts on “Why Some Antiques Are Scary

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  2. Love your blog…and yes, I’ve had some hairy, scary antiques myself! thanks for your earlier comment, but hey…I am 43 and am still a baby…therefore, you’re just a little older than this baby and if we take care of ourselves, we are not even at middle age yet! Namaste….Lisa

  3. When I look at used or antique upholstered furniture, I wonder how many other people’s farts have been blown into the fabric. You call them “antique farts,” I call them “farticles” as in “fart particles.”

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