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Why Some Antiques Are Scary

When I heard that actor Billy Bob Thornton is scared of antiques, I had to laugh. Some antiques are totally nasty and freak me out. I’m not worried that there are spirits attached to objects. I’m worried about the cleanliness factor of having old furniture in the house.

Upholstered furniture is the worst. Have you ever sat on an old sofa or chair and felt strange lumps under the fabric? The stuffing is all messed up in there. Once I see an old upholstered piece of furniture, I wonder how old the stuffing and fabric is and I imagine that it smells. In my mind, it smells like dust and old people and antique farts.

If I can’t clean it, wipe it down or put it in the dishwasher, it’s not going in my house!

I also have a problem with dolls. When I see people at auctions in bidding wars for nasty old dolls (dolls with missing hair and weird eyes and tattered clothing) I’m disgusted on the inside. I don’t care what those dolls are worth. It’s not worth it to me because I’d have to touch one to own it. EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!

Below is a link to a good scary doll story. Check it out!